Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Addendum to "Love the Ones You're With"

After some constructive and not-so-constructive criticism, I have decided to post an addendum to my previous blog.  It will be in list form, and it will contain of couple of items, "musical party fouls", if you will, suggested by my musical brethren.  Even though I repeatedly explained to them that this wasn't a list of musical party fouls, and was instead a heartfelt plea for people to enjoy music again, they nonetheless demanded contributions.  So without further ado:

1) "Don't criticize people that are better than you"

I'd like to alter this a bit and instead of using "better", which is far too subjective, I will discuss criticizing people who are more successful than you.  Success is still subjective, but certainly less so that "better".  We have concrete measures of success in the real world (yes, music takes place in the real world, not the hippy-artsy world of feelings and inspiration).  For example, are you an emmy-winning writer/producer of TV theme songs?  Then you're more successful than I am at the moment.  Do you gig 6 out of 7 nights in the week, and some afternoon gigs as well?  Then you are more successful than someone who only plays every other Friday.  Have you been able to purchase a house, car, or support a family solely through musical income?  Then you are more successful than a hobbyist who plays for extra spending money.  Do you own a production company?  Receive endorsements from major musical companies?  Score films?  Then odds are you're more successful than someone who doesn't. 

I'm not saying to live and die by what successful musicians think.  All I'm saying is show some respect, and give credit where credit is due.  After all, they're probably successful for very good reasons, and maybe, just maybe, you could learn something from them. 

2)  Don't ask us to work for free.

This is the one that makes me angry, and it makes pretty much every musician I know angry.  Would you ask a carpenter to build you a bookshelf for free?  Would you ask a lawyer to defend you in court for free?  If you answered no, then stop asking me to play free gigs "because this guy will be there", "for your art", or "because we've been friends for years".  In fact, the only reason to ever ask a musician to play a free gig is if it will be GUARANTEED to lead to multiple future paying gigs (showcases fall into this category).  Charity shows are different.  In those cases we are donating our time to help a great cause, and hopefully bringing out even more people to help that great cause.  But it's an insult if you think that I do this purely for fun, because I (and countless others) worked very hard to be able to be proficient enough to even play decently on stage.

Furthermore, just because we're at a party and you have an acoustic guitar doesn't mean I want to play and entertain you and your friends.  And while I'm at it, DON'T ASK ME FOR FREE LESSONS.  I don't care that I've known you for 15 years, or that you've always wanted to learn guitar and it's been a dream since you were 6.  If you ask me for a lesson, offer to pay.  If I refuse (and I probably will refuse money for one-off or sporadic lessons for a friend), then it's all well and good.  But offer.  Or offer to do something else in return for lessons, such as painting my house or fixing my car. 

Prime example: my dog needed medicine, and the vet wanted guitar lessons.  2 one-hour lessons to pay for my dog's allergy medicine?  Sold.  He probably didn't even have to pay for the medicine himself, so he essentially got 2 scott-free lessons, but that isn't the point.  We exchanged service for service.  God bless America.

In the end, my lesson rates are $50 per hour, so buying me lunch won't cut it, walking my dog won't cut it, and expecting me to do it for free just because I know you will CERTAINLY not cut it.  A night out at the strip club?  Now you're getting somewhere.

3) It's more fun playing music with kids than with professionals.

This one is kind of a no-brainer but I feel it has to be said, and is a synthesis of my experience and the musings of my friend who is in the same boat. 

I fought desperately against participating in the House of Music rock show this year because of school.  Then I went to the first rehearsal, and it was amazing, and I realized how good a time these kids have playing rock music through loud half-stacks.  So I got sucked right back into the madness.  I'm now running something like 10 songs, and all of them are just ridiculously good (yes, even Aces High).  The point is that these kids are exactly the opposite of what I wrote about in my last blog.  They are excited, smiling, prepared, cohesive, and professional.  They've done their homework, don't complain about being at rehearsal, and when we finish, THEY ACTUALLY WANT TO PLAY MORE.  Wow!

And for some of them, this is their 3rd or 4th rock show, and their 20th gig.  They are by no means completely green.  Yet they still have that divine spark, that passion for music that at some point most of us lost.  Playing Bad Romance with a group of teenagers (who learned it better and faster than the band I actually play it with) and Sir Duke with a 10 year old singer who owned the song (but also displayed the beginnings of Diva-ism) rekindled something in me, and I hope it continues every week.  

So there you have it, the three big additions that my friends and colleagues requested I add.  Anything else, you folks know where to find me.

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